Pain au Théâtre: The Baker's Wife Review

I think it's time to ask an important and delicate question...what's the deal with Stephen Schwartz? They say you can't make anything good without making something bad along the way. But it's flabbergasting to know that the same mind that created Wicked—one of the most successful Broadway shows ever, deserving of that vaunted status for “Defying Gravity” alone—has also produced The Baker's Wife and The Queen of Versailles. Unlike Wicked, The Baker’s Wife was never a commercial—or critical—success. Thanks to Classic Stage’s new production, it’s clear why.

Start with the writing. Schwartz’s music is all over the place. It's busy, chaotic, and trying to do way too much for one hundred and fifty agonizing minutes. Patrons searching for a reprieve during the book scenes will find none. The dialogue—by Joseph Stein—is flat, and the humor is tired. So, so tired. If you relate to the barrage of "couples who loathe each other" jokes in The Baker's Wife, do yourself a favor and get a divorce. Classic Stage’s marketing says that this "long awaited production celebrates love," but all it really celebrates is being an unsympathetic asshole to your romantic partner.

Fear not though, Mr. Schwartz, there is plenty of blame to go around for this total dumpster fire.

The cast does little to help the abysmal writing. Scott Bakula is quite good as Aimable the Baker, and Ariana DeBose is very solid—with moments of great—as his titular wife. Judy Kuhn elevates the nothing part of Denise, and she shines in the opening song. But beyond those three, it’s a disaster. Every other actor, to a person, is gratingly annoying. The Priest (Will Roland) and the Marquis (Nathan Lee Graham) are particularly rage inducing, with an over-the-top style that is about as enjoyable as nails scraping across a chalkboard. Admittedly I may be alone in this take, as the rest of the audience seemed to get quite a kick out of both of them. The breadth of the human experience is truly terrifying.

The technical design also misses. The less-than-stellar sound design makes it difficult to appreciate even the few enjoyable melodies buried in the score. The lighting design was a dog's breakfast, with strange, awkward spotlights galore, including a couple that seemed to be mere inches from DeBose's face during "Meadowlark." Jason Sherwood's set and Catherine Zuber's costume design are the lone bright spots. Walking into the space to find our seat was a fun and immersive experience, with ivy-covered set pieces hanging from the ceiling and provincial French villagers lounging about the town square playing bocce. Alas, it was all downhill from there. Even the spectacle of carts full of bread—key to both the plot and the aesthetic—felt lacking in effort. Obviously, no one is expecting all the bread on stage to be real. But with visible battery packs and obvious plastic textures visible from every perch in the 200-seat house, it was less professional theatre and more Fisher Price "My First Bakery."

Finally, for a show that is all about a woman exploring her desires, there is an astounding lack of chemistry between DeBose and Kevin William Paul, who plays Dominique, the young man for whom our title character abandons her older husband. It's rare that a lack of on-stage chemistry is so bad that it meaningfully impacts the plot of the show in question, but during The Baker’s Wife, when our young lovers elope, all I could think was...why? It's a brutal watch.

Live theatre is hard. So many things have to go right for any given production to happen at all, let alone for it to be any good. That's why it's magical when it works! Unfortunately, there's no magic to be found at Classic Stage’s The Baker’s Wife.